Swapsies – don’t like your cards? Maybe you can convince another player to swap with you. You’re all friends, right? At any point during the game players can swap up to three white cards with one their opponents. Sounds great doesn’t it – better cards, what could possibly go wrong? But this may not be quite as good a deal as it seems, as the cards must be swapped blind. Neither player is allowed to look at the cards they are receiving before accepting them. Each will know what they’re giving away, but not what they are going to receive – so one or both may end up with worse cards than their original selection – You have been warned!

Pack Swapsies – really don’t like your cards? And no one will swap with you? Then maybe you need to consider different friends? Or better still, you can swap some of your cards with the pack – at a cost. At any time, a player can take a new white card, picked unseen from the top of the deck, for the very reasonable price of just two of their own white cards. Think of it like borrowing money from the bank, you’re always going to get screwed – just bend over and let it happen. You may get exactly what you want, or you may not, those are the breaks. Just remember – swapping with the pack may leave you short later on, but we can help you with that; have a look below.

Buy two cards – If you want to, and you have the right currency, you can buy yourself more white cards if you’re running low, just like you can buy everlasting love and affection – or just love by the hour, depending on where you go. If you’ve been lucky or highly skilled early in the game and are feeling flush with a clutch of lovely grey cards in your grasp, but you’ve also used more than your fair share of whites and want to be able to play each round, you can buy two nice new white cards for the cost of just one little grey one. Obviously, this may cost you later in the game, so it all depends on how much you think the taking part counts.

Steal a verb – Ooh, you dirty thief! Do you think you have the perfect noun (white) for someone else’s verb (black)? Then steal it; but you’ve got to be fast! As soon as you hear the verb shout your noun, slam it down and win the round. Remember, though, that here the risk is great – if you win, you not only win the round but can also claim an extra white card. If you lose, you have to relinquish an extra white card to the pack, and that card is chosen blind by the dealer, so you may lose one of your best. Theft cannot go unpunished, so steal with caution.

Freestyle – If you’ve run out of white cards before the game has ended, then you’re pretty bad at this, let’s face it. If you find yourself in this disappointing predicament then your only option is likely to be a Freestyle – basically if you make up your own white card and win the round then you can take another white card from the pack along with the grey card, meaning you can play the next round. Given that you’ve lost all your cards before the game’s over, we’re not exactly hopeful that this will make a lot of difference, but you do your best anyway. After all, losers usually think it’s the taking part that counts anyway.

The Golden Snatch – The highest risk offers the greatest reward! If, at any point during the game, you believe that either yourself or any other player has played a card combination that simply cannot be beaten by any other combination for the whole game, then stand up and shout GOLDEN SNATCH!! If you’re right, and when the game ends everyone agrees that the combination is unrivalled, then you win the entire game, regardless of how many grey cards you hold. But if another combination tops it, you lose, full stop. This is the highest risk play in Verbal Abuse, and take heed, dear gambler – this game has a LOT of great card combinations.

Let’s go round again - In the unlikely event that all players have no suitable cards left a game can be ended at any time, a winner declared, the cards returned to the deck and a new game started. It’s really not very likely though.

Swap it out – inevitably there will occasionally be a white card that a particular player doesn’t know or can’t relate to – most likely historical figures, politicians or those only known to a particular region/generation. If this is the case that player can swap the card out for another white card from the deck with no penalty. They must, however, make a case for this to the playing group en-masse in the form of an impassioned plea. If the group believe the player to be subversively trying to obtain a better card, then the player must forfeit said card.